Mary Lou Williams

Mary Lou Murphy Lassen Williams, 91, of Water Valley, Mississippi, passed away peacefully in her sleep at home on Wednesday afternoon, September 18, 2024.

Mary Lou was born December 17, 1932, in San Angelo, Texas, the younger of two children of a devout Southern Baptist attorney and his fervent, piano-playing wife. Her circuitous route from San Angelo to Water Valley is a tear-jerking, bumpy, multi-chapter love story with a happy ending.

After obtaining degrees from Stephens College and Texas Christian University, studying in Mexico and traveling to Europe, in 1953, the just-under-5-foot San Angelo, Texas drum major married Paul Lassen, Jr., a Texas A&M architecture major and dashing 1st Lieutenant in the U.S. Air Force. They were stationed at Edwards Air Force Base in California. Their first child, Charmie, was born March 1955 in California. In September 1956, her husband Paul would succumb to Hodgkin’s disease, less than a month after Mary Lou delivered their second child – Paul Shelton Lassen. (A friend handed her a cigarette at the funeral, and she unapologetically smoked for the next 48 years until a stroke affected her vision in one of those big green eyes.)

In 1956, Mary Lou, then a young widow with two kids under 19 months of age, moved back into her parents’ home in West Texas. While teaching Spanish at a college in San Angelo, Mary Lou was asked to be a bridesmaid in her best friend Barbara Ann Stice’s upcoming June 1957 wedding. Mary Lou described herself as “being in a rut” and was, understandably, reluctant to attend her friend’s wedding 169 miles away. As Mary Lou would tell the story “my mother said I had to go.” She went. Barbara was marrying Richard “Dick” Hill, a Philadelphia, Mississippi native. Mary Lou, a bridesmaid, met Snooky Williams, a Williamsville, Mississippi native and groomsman, at the wedding. In Mary Lou’s words, “I wasn’t looking for love. It just hit me in the face.” Snooky and Mary Lou were married on June 21, 1958.

Toting two children under 4 years of age from her first marriage, Mary Lou was abruptly uprooted from her upper-middle class city in Texas and firmly planted in a small Mississippi town whose main claim to fame was a 1932 self-proclamation as the Watermelon Capital of the World. Water Valley’s population increased by three. Except for her intellect and savvy understanding of human nature, the multilingual Texan was ill-equipped for Water Valley. She thrived.

She was the devoted wife of a budding small town southern gentleman and ardent mother to three children. (Her third child, Ben, was born in 1960.) She cooked, cleaned house, served in the PTA, joined the Junior Auxiliary, worked at Stubbs Department Store, raised kids, ran an insurance agency, and loved her husband. She was a charter member of the Water Valley Literary Club, the “Mad Hatters,” and the Grand Slam Bridge Club – and not surprisingly played a mean hand of bridge. For years, she served as “Chairman” of the Board of the Blackmur Library. Along the way, she taught her favorite dog, Pedro Gonzalez, a few Spanish words, and he would happily “cierra la puerta” at the casa.

As the years rolled on, she added the titles of mother-in-law and grandmother. With each addition, she explained a mother’s heart just got bigger. Her second child, Paul, passed away in 1986, and Snooky, her devoted husband of 60 years, died in 2018. As the almost perfect grandmother, Mary Lou (aka “NannyNanny”) taught the grandkids how to fish, drive a golf cart, swim in Enid Lake, weed a garden, speak inappropriate words in Spanish, play dominos, spit, cook, count cards, feed birds, make friends with strangers, eat pickled okra, shell peas, dance, exude confidence, openly love, and share. The frequent family card games, which continued until a few weeks ago, were extremely competitive. Mary Lou gave no quarter and retained her high score winning cards on which she wrote “This one goes on my casket.” (Hence the dozens of score cards on her casket.)

Mary Lou and Snooky were, as Jim Dees of Thacker Mountain Radio described, “a couple’s couple. If you saw one without the other, you wondered why. If you weren’t smiling, you soon would be.” In separate comments from a Thacker Mountain performance at the Neshoba County Fair, Jim said: “They should do a reality show [about Snooky and Mary Lou] but no one would believe it.” (Around 11pm the same night that quote was given, Mary Lou was seen dancing on a sawdust-covered dance floor of the Pavilion at the Fair’s Founder’s Square.) New York Times writer Penelope Green told Ben that she considered ditching the intended (and ultimate) focus on the Fair and Williams Cabin #14 for her August 2, 2012 NYT feature story and instead write of the love story of Mary Lou and Snooky.

Mary Lou was brilliant and well-read. Books were everywhere – fiction and nonfiction. There was no favorite genre – religion, occult, science fiction, astronomy, spy, western, history, classics, children … though a mild bent to science fiction occasionally surfaced. One of her favorite quotes came from Star Trek. (Ask Ben.) Her unbridled passion for reading led her to a perennial gifting of books to friends and strangers. Music was also special. Mary Lou’s involvement and support of Thacker Mountain Radio, a weekly showcase of literary and musical talent, is well known and trumpeted at every performance.

She was somehow - quite paradoxically, uniquely, innately and concurrently - both fiery and gentle, genius and humble. She’d keep you on your toes while melting your heart. She had many an opinion on most topics and could, as the situation demanded - eloquently or emphatically - explain her view. A favorite opinion dealt with those girls in church revealing too much cleavage or short hem on the skirt? “Be glad they are in church.” As to the perturbed wife whose husband leaves his pants on the floor and expects the wife to pick ‘em up? “Be glad they are on your floor.” (Ask Charmie about Mary Lou’s advice for dealing with mean, grumpy people.) And, a regular and reflexive reminder of the relative unimportance of trivial items to the child (or adult) who may have broken/spilled/lost something otherwise considered of value: “Don’t cry over spilt [fill-in-the-blank].”

Religion played an important part of Mary Lou’s life, including a deep dive into the Bible. She was an unselfrighteous Christian who focused on forgiveness, and preferred faith, service, and stewardship over the rhetoric of fire and brimstone.

She loved flowers and birds – particularly hummingbirds – and cheerfully worked in her yard until the passage of time dictated otherwise. Once somewhat homebound, she took up technology and excelled at group texting, emailing, Googling, and even the occasional webcam.

Family and friends were a huge part of her life. She had a gift for making every person feel like the most special person in the room. And with each, as the moment required, she would listen, console, support or laugh. Having lived through her own hells, she was able to reach down with an extended hand to lift those souls mired in despair. Yet, she preferred laughter, and she spread it with an unabashed generosity.

Mary Lou experienced the most painful events a wife and mother can face – and yet triumphed time and again over tragedy and heartache. In her final weeks, she approached death with dignity, jovialness and acceptance. She frequently divulged that she was ready to be with Snooky again.

Mary Lou is preceded in death by her father E.E. “Pat” Murphy, a World War I combat veteran and Sunday School teacher, her mother Lou Phillips Murphy, her first husband Paul Lassen, Jr., her second husband M. B. “Snooky” Williams, her brother E. E. “Pat” Murphy, Jr, and her son Paul Shelton Lassen.

She is survived by daughter Charmie Lassen Weeks (Barry) of Water Valley; son, M. Binford (“Ben”)Williams, Jr. (Melissa) of Oxford; grandchildren, Angela Suzanne Weeks of Mandeville, LA; Paul Erich Lassen of Lincoln Park, MI; Barry Matthew (“Matt”) Weeks (Leighanne) of Mandeville, LA; M. Binford (“Ford”) Williams III of Wichita, KS; Morgan Murphy Williams of Oxford MS; great-grandchildren, William Walker Weeks and Mary Lassen Weeks; numerous nieces, nephews, and other kin; and oodles of friends from diverse walks of life.

At Mary Lou’s request, the family will have a private family graveside service with Dr. Barry Weeks officiating, scripture reading by Brother Raymond Aven, music by Bryan Ledford, and burial services conducted by Seven Oaks Funeral Home in Water Valley. Condolences may be sent to the family at www.sevenoaksfuneralhome.com. Memorials may be sent to the Thacker Mountain Radio (http://thackermountain.com/). Please let them know it is in honor of Mary Lou and Snooky and the sweet music of life.